


Weak

by BeeAnka



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, F/F, Physical Abuse, Unhealthy Relationships, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 05:17:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13024023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeAnka/pseuds/BeeAnka
Summary: Despite knowing the futility of it, Mukuro falls for her sister's girlfriend.





	Weak

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this in two days after being struck by inspiration.
> 
> Also, it gave me depression.
> 
> (Don't worry, I'm still updating my series tomorrow.)

* * *

 

Having just finished preparing Junko's foot spa, Mukuro frowns when she hears a knock on the door.

Junko is still speaking to her manager about today's shoots, so everyone should be aware that her sister isn't in her, as she calls it, beauty room right now. This had better not be a paparazzi or anything -- she's getting kind of bored with smashing cameras and threatening people.

When she opens the door though, it's Junko's girlfriend who's standing in front of it.

"Ikusaba-san?" Maizono Sayaka looks as surprised as Mukuro feels herself. She peeks inside the room. "Isn't Junko here yet? I saw her leaving."

"Junko-chan has to discuss some things with her manager." Mukuro tells her. Grudgingly, she has to add: "Why don't you come in and wait for her?" She can't let her sister's girlfriend wait outside like some regular person.

Maizono smiles. "Sure, thanks!" She walks inside, looking around in wonder. "Wow, there's so many clothes here. And the make-up! This stuff must be worth a fortune."

"Junko-chan is the Ultimate Fashionista. It's obvious she would only have the best make-up in here," Mukuro says, trying not to be too condescending. "The best is hardly good enough for her to begin with."

"Makes sense!" Maizono chirps, unperturbed.

"Would you like some refreshments while you wait, Maizono-san?" Mukuro asks, almost automatically.

"Um, no thanks." Maizono gives her a strange look. "Are you... Junko's personal assistant by any chance?"

"Not officially," Mukuro sighs. "But basically... yes, I am."

"That's a bit odd." Maizono says. "Aren't you the Ultimate Soldier? Oh, I see." Her face lights up. "You're doing this to help out Junko, right?"

 _'Are you going somewhere with this?'_ is what Mukuro wants to say, but she can't be rude to her sister's girlfriend. "Yes," is what she says instead. "Junko-chan doesn't really expect a stranger to go along with her quirks and whims, but I'm already used to them. That's why I'm acting as her assistant."

"That's really nice of you! I bet Junko appreciates it a lot."

"I like to think I'm competent enough." Mukuro says flatly, hoping Junko will be here soon.

There is some silence for a while, and she isn't sure whether it's uncomfortable and awkward or not. She isn't very good at reading moods.

Mukuro supposes she might have been acting kind of rude. It's not like she hates Maizono or anything, and considering they've barely ever said more than a few words to each other it's not like she has any reason to, but she just doesn't like the thought of Junko having a girlfriend. It's not really jealousy or anything -- although she does feel bitter that the girl spends so much time with Junko while she doesn't get to nearly as much herself -- it's more that she doesn't see the point of it.

Then again maybe her sister just wants to spread some extra despair or something along those lines.

She's probably a fool for trying to understand.

"You know," Maizono suddenly pipes up. "I've never seen you in anything except the school uniform, Ikusaba-san. You look pretty fashionable right now! Junko's talent must've rubbed off on you!"

"Thank you," Mukuro says, unsure on whether the compliment she's just received was backhanded or not. Probably not -- Maizono doesn't seem like the type to say mean things out of the blue. "Junko-chan picked the clothes for me, so I'm not surprised." She admits. If she dressed herself, she would probably look like, how would Junko say, an 'ugly boring idiot'. In her own opinion, the black pantsuit she's wearing makes her look like some kind of secretary, but her sister is the expert. She supposes there isn't that much difference between a personal assistant and a secretary anyway.

She's just glad Junko doesn't make her wear high-heels -- the black pumps are bad enough already. She doesn't exactly like dressing up either way, but the other clothes at least don't give her any noticeable discomfort. It's a good thing Junko's photo shoots have decreased a bit since entering Hope's Peak Academy; the fact that some of the shoots take place in school is more convenient too.

"Junko would probably pick my clothes too if I let her!" Sayaka says, letting out a girlish giggle.

"Junko-chan wouldn't date you if you weren't fashionable, Maizono-san." Mukuro assures her, but the sentence sounds bad to her as soon as she says it. "I mean," she tries to correct herself, feeling a bit flustered. "You look very nice too. In your clothes." It's true. Even though pink and white aren't exactly her cup of tea, the look fits Maizono well enough.

"Thanks, Ikusaba-san!" Sayaka doesn't seem bothered at all by her awkwardness; either that or she's trying to ignore it. "It's actually one of my stage outfits! I was hoping I'd make it in time to watch Junko's photo shoot after practice today, but I only arrived near the end..." Her face falls when she says the last few words, as if disappointed in herself.

"I'm sure Junko-chan will be glad you came at all." Mukuro says, wondering why she's even bothering to make the other girl feel better. It's not like she cares. Well... she supposes she _has_ to care about her sister's girlfriend, at least a little.

A slow smile finds its way to Maizono's face. "I hope so!" She pauses, as if considering something. "I hope I'm not being too forward," she begins. "But may I call you by your first name? It's just that you're my girlfriend's sister and it feels strange to call you 'Ikusaba-san'. You can call me by my first name too, of course!"

"Sure, that's fine." Mukuro answers, not caring either way.

"Thanks, Mukuro-san!" Maizo- Sayaka smiles. "Or should I call you... future sister-in-law?"

"What?!" Mukuro feels like falling over.

"Just kidding!" Sayaka chirps, laughing. "Geez, you should've seen the look on your face! Wait until I tell Junko!"

Mukuro feels her face burning with embarrassment. "Well, you two certainly have the same sense of humor." She tries not to mutter the sentence too bitterly.

Suddenly, the door flies open and Junko walks in as if the bad joke summoned her. Upon seeing Sayaka, her annoyed facial expression morphes into one of glee. "Saya!" She squeals, promptly hugging the other girl, who returns it with the same enthusiasm. "What're you doing here? I thought you had practice!"

"I did, but I wanted to see your photo shoot! I missed most of it though, sorry..."

"Aww, I'm glad you saw some of it though." Junko pecks her girlfriend on the cheek. "And? What'd you think?"

"I think I'm dating the hottest Gyaru in the world!" Sayaka retorts, sporting an arrogant smirk that looks odd on her. "Honestly, I'm the envy of at least half the population!" She sighs. "If only they knew."

"If only!" Junko agrees, smirking. "Weeeell, I'm the hottest Gyaru and you're the hottest idol. I guess you're just barely good enough for me."

Sayaka gasps. "You're awful, Junko!"

"What does that say about you for dating me, Saya?" Junko looks over to Mukuro for the first time since entering the room. "Hey, sis! Did you prepare the foot spa like I told you?"

"Yes, Junko-chan," Mukuro says, gesturing over to it. "Do you want me to massage them today as well?"

"I can do that!" Sayaka offers, smiling at Junko. "I'd love to massage your feet, honey."

Junko waggles her very thin eyebrows. "Oh? I didn't know you were into feet, Saya."

"Junko!" Sayaka all but shrieks, her eyes darting to Mukuro in horror. "Not in front of your older sister! Geez, that's what I get for trying to do something nice..."

Junko snickers. "My bad. I don't censor myself in front of my big sis, sorry! Is the foot massage still on the table?" She gives Sayaka one of her cute pouts.

Sayaka pouts in return, before giggling. "I can't stay mad at you. Sure!"

Junko slumps down and puts her feet into the spa, then turns her head into Mukuro's direction. "Guess that means you can go back to school early, Mukuro-chan. You should be thankful to Saya for giving you the afternoon off!"

"Thank you, Sayaka-san." Mukuro says. She's kind of glad she is allowed to leave -- she feels incredibly out of place right now.

"Geez," Sayaka huffs. "Junko's just teasing you, Mukuro-san! You don't have to thank me. Have a nice afternoon though."

If Junko is surprised that they use their first names with each other, she doesn't show it.

"Well," Mukuro says, feeling more than a little awkward. "See you later, Junko-chan. Goodbye, Sayaka-san."

"See ya!"

"Bye bye, Mukuro-san!" Sayaka chirps, smiling at her. "It was really nice to get to know you. I hope we can spend some time together in the future. I'd love to get to know my girlfriend's sister better!"

"That's fine with me." Mukuro says. It's not like she particularly wants to get to know Sayaka better, but she can't refuse Junko's girlfriend either. "I hope you two have fun together. Goodbye." She leaves the room before either of the girls can say anything else.

Mukuro walks out of the modeling agency feeling uncomfortable.

She hasn't really expected getting to know her sister's girlfriend... well, ever. She thought the two of them could just avoid each other, but she supposes it's natural to want to meet one's partner's family at some point.

She supposes there are worse girlfriends for Junko to have though. Sayaka seems alright. Has a nice smile too. And her laugh sounds lovely. Very beautiful. Is kind to her as well, instead of just ignoring her...

Mukuro blinks. Who cares about Maizono Sayaka? Even if her sister does love her, in the end Junko is just using Sayaka for despair anyway.

Honestly, Mukuro almost feels sorry for the girl.

 

-

 

Mukuro frowns.

She's been ringing on Junko's door for a minute now, but there isn't a response. Even though has Junko explicitly told her to bring the clothes to her room. Her sister wouldn't really play this kind of prank on her, so it seems odd.

When the door does open suddenly, it's Sayaka instead of Junko standing there.

"Good afternoon, Sayaka-san," Mukuro says, getting over her surprise first. "Is Junko-chan here by any chance?

"Good afternoon, Mukuro-san. I'm sorry for taking so long to open the door, I was putting on my make-up." For some reason Sayaka seems embarrassed for telling her that. "No, Junko is actually helping out someone from the upper class, but she said she'd be back soon. Do you want to wait for her?"

Mukuro feels kind of annoyed at the question. She doesn't need this girl's permission to stay in her sister's room ... but that's a ridiculous thing to get annoyed at. After all, Sayaka is just trying to be polite. Suppressing her irritation, she speaks. "That's not necessary. I was just going to drop off some of her clothes."

"That's nice of you!" Sayaka tilts her head. "Do you mind keeping me company while I wait for Junko though? I've been wanting to talk ever since I mentioned it the other day."

"That was yesterday." Mukuro points out.

Sayaka giggles. "I guess it was! Well? Do you mind?"

Sayaka probably won't give up on this, so it's best just to get it over with. "Okay." Mukuro agrees. It's not like she has anything better to do anyway. She walks into her sister's room and places the clothes neatly on the bed like she's supposed to.

"So, Mukuro-san," Sayaka begins. "I heard you hate my music?"

Mukuro freezes, feeling incredibly awkward. "Um. Not really, no. I just told Junko-chan that it isn't really my style, that's it... I'm sorry for offending you, Sayaka-san."

"Sorry! I was just teasing!" Sayaka says, giving her a sympathetic look. "Geez, honestly! I wouldn't mind if you hated it. Heck, you couldn't be worse than some of my critics."

"Junko-chan loves your music," Mukuro assures. "That should be enough, right?"

"Nothing is enough!" Sayaka denies. She smiles. "Though that helps a lot, yeah! What kind of music _do_ you like?"

"I don't know," Mukuro replies, feeling flustered for having to talk about herself. She's utterly boring, so Sayaka is bound to be disappointed. "I don't really listen to music, I suppose."

Sayaka looks horrified. "But... music is the greatest thing in the world! You do have some kind of music on your phone, don't you?!"

"Only what was already on the phone when I got it. I don't have headphones, so I never listen to it anyway."

"You don't have headphones?!" Sayaka's mortification seems ridiculously over the top, but it's obviously genuine. She ruffles around in her schoolbag, taking out a black pair of headphones. "Please take these! I insist!"

"It's really not a big deal... don't waste your expensive headphones on me." Mukuro says, embarrassed.

"Oh, I have dozens of the things," Sayaka dismisses. "It's a gift! Please, accept it."

For no real reason, Mukuro takes the headphones offered to her. "Thank you. I'm not sure I will ever use them though."

"Hmm." Sayaka tilts her head, narrowing her eyes. "Then how about we listen to some music together? I have a lot of different genres on my phone, so there's bound to be something you like too!"

"Okay." Mukuro agrees, not because she wants to, but because it's preferable to having to reveal how uninteresting she is when Sayaka would inevitably question her more on her personal life.

The first song is pop music, obviously sung by the idol sitting next to her. "Wow!" Sayaka marvels in an exaggerated manner. "What talented girl could have created this fantastic song?" Even though she's obviously making fun of herself, it's pretty clear she wants Mukuro to like it.

"It's alright," Mukuro says. "Like I said, it's not my kind of thing. It's not bad or anything."

Sayaka pouts. "Oh, well! Had to try! No more songs from me, then. How about this next one?"

A simpering ballad about love follows.

"Pass." Mukuro mutters.

A lively song by a boy band is next.

"Pass."

A slow and sad song about loss.

"Pass."

Classical music.

"Pass."

Then, something very loud.

She listens, intrigued. It's chaotic and messy, and the woman's voice sounds kind of like she has sandpaper in her throat while screaming incoherently... but for some reason she likes it.

"This is good," Mukuro says. "What genre is this?"

"I can't believe the only thing you like is death metal." Sayaka's voice sounds incredibly dry. "I only have that on here as a joke!"

"Well, I like it." Mukuro says, maybe a tad defensively.

"But there's no- it's... the composition is- argh!" Sayaka makes a frustrated noise, but giggles afterwards, which kind of sounds like she's sighing at the same time. "I guess if you like it, it can't be helped!"

"I didn't know you would be so elitist about music, Sayaka-san." Mukuro comments. "I would have thought more along the lines of you telling me that all music is good and should be respected."

"Are you teasing me?!" Sayaka looks at her in disbelief. "You're definitely teasing me."

"Maybe a little." Mukuro admits, trying not to smile.

"Who would've thought you had it in you! I'm gonna pay you back for that though, Mukuro-san!"

"You've been teasing me far more than this, Sayaka-san."

"Well... that's true! I guess I can't be mad. Oh, before I forget!" Sayaka raises her phone, wiggling it around for emphasis. "Let's exchange phone numbers, okay? I'm gonna send you some more songs to listen to. And I guess I can recommend you some death metal. One of the girls in my idol group actually likes it too!"

She doesn't really get why Sayaka would spend her free time doing that. Right now she has nothing better to do, but surely once she doesn't have to wait alone in a room for Junko anymore there's no need to waste further time on Mukuro. Still, there is no reason to refuse. "Sure." She says, reaching inside her blazer's pocket and taking out her own phone.

A minute later, Mukuro has a whopping two contacts on her phone -- barring the number of Hope's Peak Academy's administration. On some level, she feels she has to be ashamed of how much of a loser she is, but for the most part she doesn't have it in her to care. It's not like there's any point in spending time with any of these doomed people anyway.

Spending time with Sayaka is kind of nice though. Even though she's also one of the doomed people... even though she's obviously just trying to be nice to her girlfriend's weird sister. What else could it be? Pity, maybe. It doesn't really matter.

It's only a few minutes later, still listening to songs with Sayaka, that Mukuro notices how nice the other girl smells, and how close they're sitting next to each other. She suddenly feels self-conscious, like she's doing something wrong. Should she really be this close to Junko's girlfriend? It seems inappropriate... but she doesn't want to move either, feeling pretty content right now. It's almost peaceful, sitting like this, music playing in her right ear.

She's kind of having fun, oddly enough.

The peace is smashed to bits when Junko opens the door. Mukuro has the absurd instinct to jump away from Sayaka as far as possible, but luckily she is disciplined enough not to make any weird, not to mention suspicious, moves. It's not like she was doing anything bad anyway, so she has no reason to feel guilty.

"Now there's a pair I wasn't expecting to see together!" Junko says, looking between them while having one of her carnivorous grins on her face. "You're making my big sis listen to music, Saya? Let me guess, she likes death metal or some weird shit like that."

"Welcome back, honey!" They exchange a hug and a kiss. Mukuro averts her eyes, it just seems like the tactful thing to do. "It is death metal, actually! How did you know?!" Sayaka exclaims, surprise written all over her face.

"A little sister knows!" Junko answers, her eyes darting to Mukuro.

Mukuro doesn't understand the look on Junko's face, but she knows it's nothing good. She swallows, meeting her sister's eyes with what she hopes is a proper amount of submissiveness. When Sayaka turns to look at her as well, she forces herself to relax. "Maybe because we're twins. Some people think we share a telepathic link." She offers, though it's not like she has any idea how Junko knows either. She didn't even know she liked death metal herself before today.

"That sounds awesome! I wish you and I had this link, Junko. It'd make things easier."

"Easy is boring though." Junko argues, kissing Sayaka on the forehead, causing the other girl to giggle. "Hey, sis. Did you bring my clothes?"

"They're on your bed, Junko-chan." Mukuro says, biting back the urge to point out her sister just had to turn her head to the side a little to see them. She feels rude for thinking that traitorous thought immediately -- it's not like she can blame Junko for giving all of her attention to her girlfriend.

"Great! Do you mind leaving me alone with my cute girlfriend now?"

"Geez honey, you're being rude to your big sister!" Sayaka scolds Junko, then turns her head to Mukuro to give her a smile. "Thanks for bringing the clothes, Mukuro-san! And for keeping me company. I hope we can hang out later again!"

"That would be nice." Mukuro says, unable to stop herself from smiling, even blushing a bit despite trying her hardest to stay composed. "I hope you two have fun together. Goodbye."

"Bye bye!"

"See ya, sis."

Mukuro leaves the room. She hopes she won't pay later for her behavior just now. Junko doesn't like when she makes a fool out of herself, doesn't like when she smiles either. Says it makes her look ugly. She really hopes Junko doesn't mind that she exchanged phone numbers with Sayaka either, or that she's spending time with her.

Today was the most fun she's had in a while.

Kind of a depressing thought, she supposes. It's not like they did that much, and it wasn't even an hour.

Usually her day consists of just going through motions, feeling bored. Feeling dull inside. It's her own fault for not having any hobbies, she supposes. At the end of the day, Junko's attack dog is all she really is. There's no point in having any hobbies. Or friends, for that matter.

Still... she hopes Sayaka will write to her soon.

As long as it doesn't bother Junko, of course.

 

-

 

Mukuro looks through her phone's messages while listening to death metal on one ear, still feeling overwhelmed.

 **Sayaka-san:** how are you doing mukuro-san? math is kicking my ass right now D: i hope you dont have any problems with your studies!

 **Sayaka-san:** hey mukuro-san! check out this link! satomi-chan SWEARS by this band! :)

 **Sayaka-san:** do you like cats, mukuro-san? its VERY important you watch this video! :3

Are three messages a lot for a single day? The other ones that came after she replied to each individual text to the best of her ability don't count. Probably. She isn't really sure.

She hasn't expected Sayaka to send her _one_ message, much less three. It just seems like a lot.

Is she a loser for being so amazed at the amount? Likely, yes.

Mukuro is kind of disappointed in herself for feeling so excited. Should she really be feeling this way? It's her sister's girlfriend, for crying out loud! She's pretty sure taking such a liking to the girl is inappropriate.

Well... it's not like she's in love with Maizono Sayaka or anything.

Mukuro can feel heat spreading across her face at the thought. She shakes her head, trying to get rid of unwanted thoughts.

Alright, so maybe she has a tiny little crush on the girl, but it doesn't matter. Even if this was some kind of parallel universe where anyone was capable of preferring her to her charismatic younger sister, it's not like she would take Junko's girlfriend away from her. The mere thought fills Mukuro with disgust at herself.

But surely, unless Junko orders her not to, spending time with Sayaka should be okay.

Mukuro almost falls off her bed when her dorm room's bell goes off. There's only one person who would seek her out... and even if Sayaka did, for some reason, she wouldn't be the kind of person to ring on someone's doorbell so late. Probably. Unless it's an emergency.

She opens the door, revealing her sister. "Hey, sis! Can I come in? Thanks." Junko walks into her room without bothering to wait for an answer. "God, your room is just as boring as I remember."

Mukuro feels the need to point out Junko was in here only about five days ago, but it's probably not a good idea. "Is there something you need, Junko-chan?" She asks instead.

"I wonder..." Junko muses, before her eyes flash and she has a wide grin on her face. "When were you gonna tell me about you and Saya?"

"What do you mean?" Mukuro asks, suppressing her panic. She has no reason to feel guilty, so why would she be panicking? "Sayaka-san mentioned she wants to try spending time with me, because I'm your sister. That's all."

Junko rolls her eyes. "That's how it always starts! But then, a week later or something, I'm gonna find you two in my bed while you fuck each other!"

"Junko-chan, you know I would never do anything like that." Mukuro protests, wincing at her sister's crude language. She really doesn't like when Junko is being vulgar like this, it makes her uncomfortable. "Besides, who would ever leave you for someone like me? You're beautiful, interesting, and smart. I'm... none of these things."

"You're ugly, boring, and stupid." Junko agrees. "But, like, people don't always make rational decisions! Saya is desperate enough to date someone like you, provided you shower her with enough affection."

"I would never betray you like this," Mukuro repeats, looking at her sister uncertainly. "And you give her plenty of affection, don't you...?"

"Well, yeah!" Junko sighs. "But you know how it is, I gotta hold it back sometimes. Saya is so beautiful when she's sad, y'know? That's why I'm worried. Stupid like you are, you'd just shower her with your lame, half-baked love all the time. Saya's addicted to being loved, so she could fall even for you. It'd be selfish, of course, but that's one of the reasons why I'm in love with her to begin with." She gives another sigh, and it sounds almost dreamy. "How much despair is she gonna feel when she finds out about me? How much despair am I gonna feel when my beloved looks at me with hate and disgust in her eyes? I can't wait!"

"Well," Mukuro says, swallowing. "Like I said, I would never betray you like this."

"I guess not." Junko concedes. She hums thoughtfully. "You totally have a crush on her though. I can tell."

Mukuro flinches as if being struck. "I'm sorry, Junko-chan," she mumbles, staring at the floor. "I don't like feeling this way..." It's only a half truth.

"Awww, it's not your fault!" Junko hugs her, causing her to freeze. Her sister hasn't embraced her in a long time. "You're just like a pathetic, love-starved little puppy. It's obvious you'd have a thing for anyone who actually notices you exist and acts halfway nice to you."

Mukuro doesn't dare hug her sister back. "I..." She begins, but is unsure of what to say.

"You don't have to say anything," Junko assures. She pulls back from the hug, smiling. "But if you interfere with my plans, I'm gonna have to hurt you. You know that, sis. Right?"

Mukuro nods.

"Good girl! Well, I have a date with Saya, so I have to prepare." Junko walks to the door, opening it. She turns around. "By the way, this room fucking _reeks_! Get some air fresheners or something! Geez, Mukuro-chan!" She slams the door shut after walking out, leaving an oppressive silence behind.

Well.

This was going to happen sooner or later.

Mukuro forces herself to calm down. At least Junko didn't hit her or anything, and kept the insults to a minimum. This was almost a friendly warning coming from her sister. It's not like she was ever going to do any of the things she's been accused of just now anyway, so what does it matter? Still, the way Junko was talking about her girlfriend...

She feels a stab of pity for Sayaka. She would be far from the first girl Junko played around with, but she's the only one Mukuro has gotten to know a little.

She doubts most of the other girls deserved what happened to them either, but she hasn't cared about that so far.

Because at the end of the day, she's just as self-centered as her sister. Just in a different way.

Mukuro leaves her room to buy air fresheners.

 

-

 

Weeks pass.

On a sunny Friday afternoon, she's listening to one of her favorite songs while standing in front of Junko's beauty room at the modeling agency, waiting. She can hear loud talking from inside, since she only ever listens to music with one ear. It sounds like two people arguing.

She is still talking to her sister's girlfriend, trying her best to stay cool and composed while interacting with the girl. It's hard, sometimes. Sayaka is pretty affectionate with her friends.

She's actually slowly become closer friends with Sayaka, even though she knows it's a stupid thing to do. She just couldn't help it -- is too weak to resist the temptation.

She still almost can't believe she has a friend. She wishes she didn't feel so much for this particular friend though.

It doesn't help that Sayaka's been trying to include her into their relationship activities sometimes. She doesn't know how the girl doesn't notice her sister's irritation at that, but she supposes Junko is very good at hiding what she really feels.

Mukuro rubs her arm subconsciously, feeling a twinge of resentment, but tries her best to suppress it. It's not Sayaka's fault that Junko takes all that anger out on her like this, and it's not like the girl is aware of it to begin with.

She doesn't understand why Junko told her not to deny whenever Sayaka asks her to spend time with them, if it annoys her so much. But then again, there's a lot she doesn't understand.

The door suddenly flies open, startling her out of her thoughts.

Junko storms out, though after taking a step outside she whirls around. "If you care more about your stupid idol crap than me, just tell me! But don't treat me like some fucking idiot!" She shouts.

"Honey, I wasn't-"

"Don't call me that when I'm mad at you, you dumb bitch!" Junko's eyes dart to Mukuro for a second, before looking back in the room. "Now you've made me yell in front of my big sis too! Are you happy?! Ugh, I can't deal with you right now!" She walks down the hallway brusquely, disappearing around the corner.

"Junko, please wait!" Sayaka appears in the hallway, looking after her.

Mukuro tries to gather her thoughts. "You should leave her alone for a while," she mumbles, turning off the music. "If you go after her, she will get angrier."

Startled, Sayaka turns to her, face red and stained with tears. "Mukuro-san... I'm sorry you had to see this." She rubs her eyes, and sniffles in a pitiful way. "I wasn't trying to... to..." There is another sniffle.

Mukuro feels a stab of pain in her chest.

"... Let's go inside." She suggests. "If the wrong person saw us right now, it would probably make the papers."

"Yeah. You're right." Sayaka agrees, tonelessly.

They walk inside the room, Mukuro closing the door softly behind her. "Junko-chan doesn't hold grudges over an argument," she tries to assure the other girl after they sit down next to each other, feeling kind of awkward. "Don't worry about it."

Sayaka glances at her, some more tears springing from her eyes. "I just don't know what I did wrong... I mentioned practice, and Junko suddenly went off on me. Accusing me of loving my career more than her... it's not the first time-" She winces suddenly. "I shouldn't talk about this without getting her permission first. I'm sorry, please don't tell her."

"I won't," Mukuro lies. Junko will definitely ask her about this later, and she will have to answer truthfully. "You... um," she begins, trying to make a suggestion. "You should tell her yourself. Junko-chan will appreciate your honesty."

"Thanks, I'll do that..." Sayaka murmurs. "I just... I just don't want to make her angry at me..." She starts trembling lightly.

Mukuro feels absolutely useless. "Junko-chan loves you a lot," she says quietly. "She told me herself. It's normal for a couple to fight once in a while, isn't it?"

Sayaka stops trembling, looking at her uncertainly. "That's... I guess that's true..."

Feeling more confident, Mukuro continues. "I bet once you apologize after she's calmed down, she will forgive you in a second. I know her, so you can trust me on this."

Sayaka smiles slightly. "I really hope so..."

Mukuro tries to give the girl a reassuring smile, hoping she doesn't look too ugly. "Why don't we go out and buy Junko-chan a raspberry smoothie? That always makes her feel better."

"That sounds good. I'm... I'm gonna wash my face first though." Sayaka mumbles, disappearing in the bathroom for a minute. When she comes back, there is no hint of any crying visible. "How do I look?"

"Beautiful." Mukuro says before she can stop herself. "I mean... you look fine." She adds lamely.

Sayaka giggles. "Thanks, Mukuro-san. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes." Mukuro says, reaching for the door handle.

Before she can though, she can feel a light touch on her arm. "Mukuro-san... thank you." Sayaka tells her. "I mean it. You're... a good friend."

"Don't mention it." Mukuro answers, not turning around to look in the other girl's face. If she did, maybe Sayaka would be able to see the self-loathing.

Sayaka wouldn't thank her if she knew things were going to get worse.

Especially wouldn't thank her if she knew of Mukuro's complicity.

Junko forgives Sayaka, of course. There are a lot of hugs and kisses involved. The relief on Sayaka's face is palpable. They tell each other how much they love each other over and over, Mukuro standing on the side feeling uncomfortable, feeling sick.

If only the poor girl knew.

Afterwards, her sister gleefully asks her how much Sayaka was crying, what they've talked about with each other. Mukuro tells her everything. Junko laughs upon hearing it, and she cries as well.

A week later, Mukuro spots a bruise on Sayaka's right arm.

She ignores it.

 

-

 

Unfortunately, Mukuro can't ignore when it happens right in front of her.

She's sorting her sister's clothes with the two of them when it happens, trying to tune out their talking to each other to focus on the task, when Junko suddenly starts shouting.

"What the hell do you mean you can't come to the photo shoots?!"

"I-I'm really sorry, Junko. I can't skip practice again." Sayaka stammers, her eyes darting from Junko to Mukuro, then to Junko again, looking terrified the entire time. "Can we please talk about this later?"

"No, we fucking can't! I knew your stupid group was more important than me!"

"Junko, no! That's not it at all! It's just, my manager chewed me out in front of everyone for missing practice so often. They- they could cancel my contract and everything!"

"Then stop practicing at the same time my shoots are, you dumb bitch!"

"That's... that's not really my decision-"

Junko slaps her girlfriend across the face, so hard that even Mukuro has to flinch. "Don't fucking talk back to me! Why do you always do that?! It's pissing me off!"

"I'm sorry, Junko..." Sayaka mumbles, her eyes fixed on the floor. She sniffles. "I love you so much... I'm not trying to make you angry, I promise."

Junko scoffs. "Could have fooled me. I'm gonna get some coffee. Sort this shit before I'm back, or else I'm gonna be _seriously_ angry." She leaves the room without another word.

Mukuro hesitantly looks into Sayaka's direction, who looks like frozen in place for a few seconds, before slowly returning to sorting Junko's clothes.

Mukuro follows her example. She hesitates. "... Are you okay?" The question is probably stupid, but she can't think of anything else to say.

The girl flinches. "Yeah," she mutters. "I'm sorry you had to see this." Fidgeting uncomfortably, Sayaka looks at her with fear. "Junko gets angry like this sometimes, but she doesn't mean it... I know she doesn't like slapping me or anything..." She tries to smile, but it looks like a grimace. "She always apologizes later... I just... I don't know what I'm doing wrong..."

"It's fine," Mukuro says. "Junko-chan hurts you, because she loves you. She has to, so please don't blame her for it." The words are honest, so how come she feels like scum for saying them?

"I just wish..." Sayaka mumbles, but doesn't say more.

Neither does Mukuro. They quietly sort Junko's clothes. When they're done, Sayaka still looks so miserable she feels she has to say something.

"You look really nice today."

Sayaka smiles, but it looks fake. "Thanks... Junko picked the clothes out for me. She likes wearing white and black together a lot, doesn't she?"

"Sometimes, yes," Mukuro agrees. "It suits you."

"Junko said the same thing." Sayaka says, her smile looking more sad and less fake all of a sudden. "I hope she's gonna forgive me this time."

"She will." Mukuro assures her. Junko wouldn't part with her plaything so easily.

"Thank you, Mukuro-san..." Sayaka's smile finally becomes more genuine, more happy. It's too bad it's directed at the wrong person. "You're a great friend. You always make me feel better..."

Mukuro doesn't give a reply, doesn't move even when Sayaka starts leaning against her for comfort. She doesn't have any comfort to give.

She wishes she could do something, but she can't. Not without betraying her sister. Not without making herself feel even more like complete scum.

When Junko returns, she apologizes to Sayaka. They exchange hugs, kisses, and et cetera. There are plenty of tears from both of them.

Mukuro watches the spectacle dispassionately, hoping Junko will get sick of the girl soon.

It's the only thing she can do for her friend.

 

-

 

Barely a month later, Sayaka is sobbing against her shoulder.

Mukuro pats her back awkwardly.

"And- and then she threatened to- to break... to break up with-" Sayaka chokes, pressing her red face, from both the crying and Junko's nails, harder against her.

"She won't do that." Mukuro mumbles.

This has been getting more and more frequent. Junko hurts Sayaka. Mukuro proceeds to do some damage control. They make up. Junko questions her about her girlfriend's pain and misery afterwards. Rinse, repeat.

Junko is usually more subtle, more slow. Either she's gotten more impatient, or she likes Sayaka so much that she can't wait to emotionally destroy her.

"Why- why wouldn't she?" Sayaka sniffles. "I keep messing up... I-I hate myself..."

"Everyone makes mistakes."

"But I'm making so many..."

"Junko-chan gets angry easily."

"W-Well, it's not like you're making her so mad all the time though..."

Mukuro doesn't reply to that. She can't, not without lying, and she's trying to keep her lies to a minimum for Sayaka.

Unfortunately, Sayaka seems to be taking her silence in a way she was hoping the girl wouldn't. "Mukuro-san...?"

"Like I said, she gets angry a lot." Mukuro says in a clipped tone, hoping to end the current subject. Stupid. Why isn't she just lying?

Sayaka persists. "Junko... she doesn't..." She gives her a look of horror. "She isn't hitting you or anything, is she?"

"Junko-chan just is like that. It's like you said before, she doesn't really mean it." Mukuro answers in spite of herself, the words just coming out before she can stop them.

Sayaka stares at her. "But... she can't- why is she hurting you?! She shouldn't do that!"

Mukuro tries to calm herself. She's already made a mistake, so she has to keep the damage to a minimum to the best of her ability. "She's hurting you too." She says, hoping to appeal to logic.

"Yes, but..." Sayaka looks unsure of herself. "But she shouldn't hurt you! You don't deserve that!"

"And you do?" Mukuro asks. "If you deserve it, then maybe so do I."

"Well, maybe..." Sayaka's lips tremble. "Maybe I don't deserve it either..."

Mukuro feels a surge of panic inside her, noticing she's made another mistake. "Yes, you do," she says, forcing her voice to sound harsh. "And so do I."

"No, you- no we don't! This isn't..." Sayaka's eyes flash as if she just realized something. "God, this isn't normal! There's something wrong with Junko! I can't- I can't do this anymore-"

"Don't do anything you might regret later." Mukuro warns her.

If Sayaka breaks up with Junko, and not the reverse, she is doomed. Dead, for sure. Junko doesn't accept being denied like this.

"I'm gonna regret it more if I stay with her! She- she hurts me, Mukuro-san. I can't... I don't want to feel miserable all the time anymore... and knowing she does the same to you... you- you can't let her do this to you!"

"She loves you, Sayaka-san. She loves both of us, that's why she does all of that." Mukuro insists. "I'm being honest, I swear. Just be a bit more patient-"

"No!" Sayaka interrupts her. "I don't care what she thinks, it's wrong to hurt us like this! You- you wouldn't do that to me!"

Mukuro pauses. "What are you talking about?"

"You're so kind to me, Mukuro-san..." Sayaka murmurs. "You're such a good friend. I really like you, and finding out what Junko is doing to you just now..."

"I think you've said enough." Mukuro interrupts, pressing her lips into a thin line.

"No, Mukuro-san! I really-"

"Shut up!" Mukuro raises her voice, something she doesn't do often. "I don't want to hear it. You love my sister, not me."

"I-I do feel something for her still, but the way she's been treating me..." Sayaka steps closer to her. "And you're always so kind to me, Mukuro-san. Please, you have to realize that there's something wrong with Junko."

"I don't care if there is. She's my sister. Are you telling me to betray her?" Mukuro gives her a glare.

"You shouldn't be so loyal to her if she's this awful!" Sayaka blurts out. "Mukuro-san, you're being abused by her! Please, let's-"

"I told you to shut up!" Mukuro yells, hot anger rising inside of her. Who does this girl think she is, questioning her loyalty in such a manner? "Just shut up! I'm not betraying my sister! If you want to break up with her so badly, then do it! But leave me out of it."

"I can't!" Sayaka shouts back. "I care about you, Mukuro-san! I think... I think I love-"

Mukuro slaps her across the face. Sayaka stumbles a bit, walking backwards a few steps. The girl looks at her, stunned.

"You said I wouldn't hurt you," Mukuro says coldly. "You were wrong. I don't ever want to hear another word about this from you. You're Junko-chan's girlfriend. Do you understand?"

Sayaka looks at her with tears in her eyes, a look of betrayal on her face. "You... you're just as awful as her..." She whispers, almost in disbelief, before the look of betrayal turns into one of rage. "I-I hate you. I hate both of you!" She runs out of the room.

Mukuro glances at the door. She walks up to it, closing it softly, and notices that the hand gripping the handle is shaking. She forces her hand to be still.

She spends the next few minutes standing in her sister's room, her mind blank.

When Junko comes back, already having her usual post-argument tears in her eyes, she barely notices at first. "Did Saya leave already?" Her sister asks, confused. "Hey, Mukuro-chan?"

Mukuro turns to her. "Junko-chan... I'm sorry. I messed up."

Instead of looking angry, Junko has a look of surprise on her face. "Sis," she mutters. "What the hell happened?"

There is a slight pause before her sister speaks again.

"Why are you crying?"

 

-

 

Sayaka breaks up with Junko on the next day, per text.

Junko tells her about it, seething with anger. Mukuro had to endure a lot of punches, kicks, and scratches yesterday, but it's nothing compared to what her sister is like today.

"Should I kill her?" Mukuro asks quietly, getting up after Junko is done stomping on her, feeling like she might as well bring it up herself.

"No," Junko says, her lips twisting into a malicious smile. "Let's see how she's gonna do in the killing game. I might even forgive her if she pulls through."

"Alright." There is a small feeling of relief upon hearing that, but Mukuro squashes the thought mercilessly. 

"Are you happy about that? Don't be." Junko's fingers dig into her hair, yanking on it. Mukuro can barely suppress the gasp of pain. "Believe me, you're gonna wish you'd have killed her yourself once I'm done with you."

"I... I'm sorry, Junko-chan."

Junko frowns, then slaps her across the face four times in quick succession. Mukuro feels like her head is ringing after it.

She's glad, though. After what she's done to Sayaka, it's nothing less than she deserves.

She destroys Sayaka's black headphones as soon as she goes back to her own room, after Junko's gotten sick of venting her anger. She rips them in half. She deletes every song on her phone, too. She's never liked that stupid music anyway.

Why should she care about Maizono Sayaka?

In fact, she should be glad if she got the opportunity to kill some stupid girl for scorning her sister like this. She's just being sentimental for feeling so horrible, being a weakling. Friends? What a joke.

Junko is the only person in the world who matters. Mukuro resolves herself to never forgetting that fact again, not even for a second. Even if it makes her feel empty inside, knowing she will never feel how she felt with Sayaka ever again.

But that's fine, if it makes Junko happy. She lives for her sister's happiness, after all.

It's not like Sayaka will ever want to speak to her after this anyway.

 

-

 

A few days later, she's proven wrong when Sayaka approaches her in one of the bathrooms on the first floor.

"Mukuro-san?" The voice is shy, almost afraid.

Mukuro sees Sayaka in the bathroom's mirror. "What do you want?" She asks without turning around.

"You excused yourself from class because your black eye started hurting, right?" Sayaka pauses. "We both know who gave it to you."

"Why are you here?"

Sayaka is quiet for a few seconds. "I want to help you."

Mukuro feels a surge of anger flaring up inside of her. "I don't need your help," she mutters. "Go away."

Sayaka steps closer to her. "I know why you hit me. I understand."

Slowly, Mukuro turns around. "You don't understand anything." She tells the girl in a cold voice.

"I understand that you're terrified of your sister," Sayaka says. "I understand that you were worried about me in your own way."

"I hit you because you were annoying, because you were insulting Junko-chan." Mukuro sneers. "Now go away before I do it again."

Sayaka takes another step forward. "Then do it. Go ahead."

Mukuro doesn't move.

"Well?! What are you waiting for?!" Sayaka grabs her right hand and raises it to her face. "Punch my lights out! Slap me! I dare you!"

Mukuro takes a step back.

"I know you won't do that." Sayaka murmurs. "You won't, because you're not a bad person. Mukuro-san..." There are tears in the corner of her eyes, just waiting to run down her pale cheeks. "I'm so sorry for calling you awful."

"What's wrong with you?" Mukuro hears herself ask tonelessly, almost whispering. "I hit you."

"You shouldn't have done that..." Sayaka says. Then, she smiles gently. "But I forgive you."

Mukuro freezes. "Why?" She asks. "Why would you forgive me?"

"Because I still want to be friends." Sayaka gives her a desperate look. "Please, Mukuro-san. I... I like you a lot..."

Despite knowing she shouldn't, despite knowing what a bad idea it is, Mukuro starts to cry upon seeing the look on Sayaka's face, all of her emotions from the past days spilling out of her. "I'm sorry, Sayaka-san," she chokes out. "I'm really sorry for hitting you. I was just- I was trying to- to..."

Sayaka hugs her. "I know," she whispers. "I know what you were trying to do. It's okay, Mukuro-san."

"I broke your headphones." Mukuro mumbles, sniffling. "I'm so sorry. I was... I don't know..."

"It's okay."

"We can't be friends. Junko-chan wouldn't allow it... we just can't..."

"She doesn't have to know." Sayaka tells her, holding her close, whispering the words in her ear like poison. "Let's just be friends in secret, okay?"

"I..." Mukuro hesitates. "I... I don't know... I'm scared." She admits.

"I'm scared too." Sayaka says, pulling back slightly to smile at her, now crying as well.

"I don't want to betray Junko-chan..."

Sayaka swallows. "Mukuro-san... I'm sorry to say this again, but Junko shouldn't hit you..."

"Stop saying that," Mukuro pleads. "You don't understand... what she has been through. What she's really like. How she expresses her feelings..."

"I don't care." Sayaka says. "You don't deserve to get hurt like this. Don't your feelings matter at all?"

"They don't."

Sayaka opens her mouth, then closes it again. "Oh, Mukuro-san..." She says in a sad tone, looking at her with pity. "Then... do you think I deserved to be hurt?"

"No... but that's different."

"How is it different?"

"I'm stupid and useless," Mukuro mutters. "I... I deserve to get hurt. I've hurt Junko-chan a lot too..."

"I don't know about your past, but was it on purpose? Did you mean to hurt her? Did you hit her?"

"No, but-"

"Then it's not the same thing!"

"Enough!" Mukuro snaps. "Please, Sayaka-san... just... can we stop talking about this?"

Sayaka looks mutinous for a bit, before sighing. "I'm sorry, Mukuro-san. I care about you, so I don't like seeing you get hurt. You understand that, right?"

"Yes..."

Sayaka hugs her again. "I'm gonna find some way..." She whispers. "Some way to protect you. I promise."

Mukuro returns the hug. She knows there is no way to protect her, but doesn't say anything.

When Sayaka moves back slightly, all they can do is silently look at each other, their eyes both red from all the crying.

Then, Sayaka slowly brings her face closer, pressing their lips together.

Mukuro neither has the energy to push her back nor to return the kiss.

"I'm sorry," Sayaka murmurs after pulling back. "I love you, Mukuro-san. I can't keep it to myself any longer."

Mukuro feels numb. "I can't say it back, Sayaka-san," she says tonelessly. "Forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive. I understand." Sayaka smiles at her.

She doesn't, though. Sayaka doesn't understand at all. She can't.

Mukuro is self-centered in her own way, loyal to her sister, definitely a bad person... but she's also lonely, easily overwhelmed by her emotions when they're getting too powerful, and too weak to care during that state.

So when Sayaka kisses her again, she returns it, albeit weakly.

Even though she knows what the consequences will be.

A part of her almost hopes Sayaka really is able to protect her from Junko, but that's utter nonsense.

Kissing Sayaka desperately in the girls' bathroom, Mukuro starts to cry again without noticing.

 

* * *

 


End file.
